Lately I have been thinking a lot about separation anxiety and my children and how I can attempt to make everyone feel better about separating from each other for even a little bit. The question I have going through my head is, who is affected by separation anxiety the most, is it me or my eldest daughter Sydney? If it is me, is Sydney picking up vibes from myself? Could it be the words that I use? Or the hugs that I give when it comes time to part ways at school?
In all honesty I do feel some sort of anxiety when I leave them some where. I won’t deny that I want my children with my every single day, they are the reason I breathe and the reason I wake at an insane hour each morning. When I take my children to a place for the day such as day care, parents, school, parties, I do hesitate when it comes to leaving. Is it the hesitation that my eldest is picking up on and thus causing her trouble with parting from me? Perhaps she has no real anxiety at all? I have noticed that even her biological father hesitates when it comes time to leave.
There is nothing worse than leaving your child when all you want to do is enjoy their company. They can drive you crazy and make you want to retreat into a hole some times and gorge on chocolate and ice cream, but they also have a personality that makes you laugh. Or what about when they hug you? Or kiss you on the cheek? Or demand that you don’t put the fan on because their blankie might fly away?
When I leave my kids for even a few hours, I know I will be missing these small things and it hurts. I don’t want second hand news on how my child was during the day, I want to witness it myself. When I lost my job I was all for looking for a new one and getting back into everything. But then every job application was ignored and I felt miserable and spent more time with my girls.
I enjoy taking my children to the library, to the park, grocery shopping (only sometimes), to family events and play group. I have become such a better mother and have discovered so much about myself and how far I can go before I lose my cool. I enjoy teaching my girls new things at home like cooking, reading and writing. I love watching them experiment with different things in the house while giving them a flexible routine. I love when their faces light up when I give them a treat or reward. And I love (although it hurts sometimes) teaching my children hard lessons such as sharing or when things don’t go the way they planned.
After the new year I will have to start looking for work as my youngest will be attending preschool. It will be super hard to leave, but for parents who have separation anxiety the best way to cope with it is to get right into something even if you don’t want to. The idea is to keep your mind and body busy just long enough until you can see your little munchkins again. To help my children with their anxieties I will give them both something they can attach to their bags. It can be something to remind us that we will see each other again.
I can even give them something different each week and trust them to bring it back to me after school each day. A little thing like this will (I hope) give them knowledge that we will see each other again that day.
Until next time,