Separation anxiety and my children

Lately I have been thinking a lot about separation anxiety and my children and how I can attempt to make everyone feel better about separating from each other for even a little bit.  The question I have going through my head is, who is affected by separation anxiety the most, is it me or my eldest daughter Sydney?  If it is me, is Sydney picking up vibes from myself?  Could it be the words that I use?  Or the hugs that I give when it comes time to part ways at school?

In all honesty I do feel some sort of anxiety when I leave them some where.  I won’t deny that I want my children with my every single day, they are the reason I breathe and the reason I wake at an insane hour each morning.  When I take my children to a place for the day such as day care, parents, school, parties, I do hesitate when it comes to leaving.  Is it the hesitation that my eldest is picking up on and thus causing her trouble with parting from me?  Perhaps she has no real anxiety at all?  I have noticed that even her biological father hesitates when it comes time to leave.

There is nothing worse than leaving your child when all you want to do is enjoy their company.  They can drive you crazy and make you want to retreat into a hole some times and gorge on chocolate and ice cream, but they also have a personality that makes you laugh.  Or what about when they hug you?  Or kiss you on the cheek?  Or demand that you don’t put the fan on because their blankie might fly away?

When I leave my kids for even a few hours, I know I will be missing these small things and it hurts.  I don’t want second hand news on how my child was during the day, I want to witness it myself.  When I lost my job I was all for looking for a new one and getting back into everything.  But then every job application was ignored and I felt miserable and spent more time with my girls.

I enjoy taking my children to the library, to the park, grocery shopping (only sometimes), to family events and play group.  I have become such a better mother and have discovered so much about myself and how far I can go before I lose my cool.  I enjoy teaching my girls new things at home like cooking, reading and writing.  I love watching them experiment with different things in the house while giving them a flexible routine.  I love when their faces light up when I give them a treat or reward.  And I love (although it hurts sometimes) teaching my children hard lessons such as sharing or when things don’t go the way they planned.

After the new year I will have to start looking for work as my youngest will be attending preschool.  It will be super hard to leave, but for parents who have separation anxiety the best way to cope with it is to get right into something even if you don’t want to.  The idea is to keep your mind and body busy just long enough until you can see your little munchkins again.  To help my children with their anxieties I will give them both something they can attach to their bags.  It can be something to remind us that we will see each other again.

I can even give them something different each week and trust them to bring it back to me after school each day.  A little thing like this will (I hope) give them knowledge that we will see each other again that day.

Until next time,

Kathy

 

 

How I handle my anger as a parent

Lately I have realised I am a short tempered person who becomes rather angry very quickly.  I lose my cool very easy over what can be considered something very small.  I can remember screaming at my children then breaking down in tears because of all the guilt.  I would be on the phone to my mum in hopes she would calm me down so I could continue on with my day with less anger.

Every morning it is a mission to get my eldest to get ready for school.  I mean seriously, I ask the child to put her shoes on at least 30 times before she actually does it.  Then there are the toys laying around the house that I trip over daily.  Or the dishes left outside in the cubby house over night.  Or what about the sibling rivalry?  Don’t get me wrong, my kids can be super adorable and get along great most days but one of them has to take things to far and make the other one cry.  I want to tell them what they did wasn’t right, but I instead find myself yelling at them cause they made the other cry.

And what about when I find myself doing 99% of the house work each and every day.  I find myself arguing with my better half to take his bloody rubbish to the bin instead of leaving in it piles next to his computer, or to make the effort and place his dirty laundry in the basket instead of 2 feet away from the damn thing.

I am one to always improve myself whenever I can and a few months ago I decided to try something new.  I decided to take my own advice and use my words to get across what I’m feeling.  I have since discovered my children don’t like it when they know I’m angry.  Instead of just yelling at them, I give them warning that I am becoming angry and will start using my ‘angry mummy voice’ if they don’t do as they are told.

When it comes to getting them to turn off the TV I let them watch the last of the show they are watching and tell them they must turn it off when it’s over.  I know give them a 2 minutes warning before they get out of the bath.  I let them know it’s pack away time in 2 minutes and that they must do it.  If they refuse to pack away I once again remind them of my ‘angry mummy voice’ when I get mad.

One of the things I am thankful for is the childcare course I took.  I figure since I can’t get a job in the industry just yet, I may as well put my knowledge to use at home.  Things such as transitioning from one task to another without tears or tantrums.  One thing that sticks in my mind is that when you ask a child a question you should count to 10 in your mind (not to fast).  Children aren’t fast thinkers and need time to think about their answers.

One of the things I struggle with each day is trying to remain calm even when I want to burst.  I can honestly say I am proud of myself.  I can’t remember the last time I rang my mother in tears asking her if I was doing a good job.  I also only lose my temper one or two times a day instead of ever hour.

I have so much more to learn about the stresses of parenting.  The biggest thing I have to remember each day is that even though my partner doesn’t show it, he too is stressed, just not about the same things as myself.  So I cut him some slack when it comes to laundry or his rubbish.  The most I ask of him now is to go to the shops when I need something.

I could write so much more, but after a long day of playing with my children, cooking, cleaning and feeling happy I can honestly say I am exhausted and can’t think properly.

Until next time,

Kathy

Am I an unqualified nurse or skilled cleaner?

Today has seen 2 people in my family become unwell with some sort of bug.  My youngest daughter, Summer, awoke last night distraught as she had vomited all over herself and all over her sheets and her blankie.  She became inconsolable when after asking for her blanket Ii had to let her down and tell her it was covered in vomit.  Thankfully Michael was able to comfort Summer while I pulled sheets, pillows and blankets off her bed and lug them to the laundry.

If the laundry light was working I would have scrubbed them and started a load of laundry.  I’m grateful it wasn’t, there was so much vomit on her linen I had to lug them to the bath tub and rinse all the gunk under hot water.  How lucky was I that Sydney entertained her sister long enough (we’re talking 45 minutes) so I could clean up after this poor child.  I should also mention that in the laundry sink were the towels from yesterdays ‘accident’ when Summer didn’t make it to the toilet on time.

By 8am, I have cleaned urine and vomit from as well as pack a healthy lunch full of preservatives because lets face it, who has time to make something so healthy when you have just cleaned urine and the forcibly expelled stomach contents of a 3 year old?

Not long after I have started the laundry Michael tells me he has stomach cramps and quickly races to the toilet where I hear noises that some what frighten me.  I’m a horror buff, I can watch that shit all night and still sleep like a baby.  What I feared was the mess I had to clean once he vacated the small toilet space in the bathroom.  He always claims to clean up after himself, but he ALWAYS forgets to lift the bloody toilet seat and clean under it.  I don’t know what was more disgusting, the feces or the vomit (which by the way some of it is still lingering in the bathtub as a I had to rush out the door and take my eldest to school).

Both Michael and Summer slept the majority of the day and were both rather grumpy all afternoon.  I made Michael stay in bed and was once again super thankful my eldest occupied her sister just long enough for me to make the beds.  By the time I had finished with the beds I found myself holding my youngest child while I cooked dinner for the healthy people in this house.

I’m super glad I had that little nap today while I had the chance.  Something tells me I will be up again tonight.  Summer has been letting off some stinkers today and I hope she doesn’t end up with the runs as well.

During my day I was able to get both sick people to eat and stay hydrated.  Summer had a fever for about an hour but it soon left after she started to drink her water and cordial.  Michael now has gastro stop, so fingers crossed he too is better in the morning.

Until next time,

Kathy

The happenings at my place

Over the last few months things have been quite busy.  Michael has finally scored himself a garage/shed where he can go every day and work.  This means he is finally leaving the house for 5 or 6 hours at a time.  I don’t want to sound horrible but it is great to see him out of the house and doing something.

To make things even better, he has even scored himself a place at the hunters biggest home and lifestyle show in the Newcastle showgrounds.  He was offered a spot free of charge (though we do have to pay for electricity) and is able to show more people in the Newcastle and Hunter region the products that he can make.  We are hoping this is the thing that will get his small one man business of the ground.

With Michael out of the house it means I have to do more around the house.  I can say that by the end of the day I am exhausted and am asleep by 9 every night.  There is no TV for me after the kids go to bed.  Not really much time for the internet either.

Right now I have 2 out of 5 people sick in this house.  Last night Summer woke up covered head to toe in her own vomit.  The bed was a disaster which meant she slept in my bed from 1am on wards.  Glad she did as I had to race her to the bathroom 4 more times during the night so she could continue to empty out her stomach.  She has been asleep on the lounge for the last 3 hours and wont budge.  Michael is currently in bed with bad stomach pains and has a mild case of the runs.  He too wont get out of bed.  I guess when I go to get Sydney from school the sick can care for the sick, haha.

Sydney is only 6 and has been driving me crazy, she has such a short fuse.  I find myself trying to calm her down but after a while find myself yelling at her to cut it out and got to her room.  She asked me the other day why she can’t live with her bio father and me.  If only I could tell her that her father was a raging idiot who said all these hurtful things to me then cheated on me while I was pregnant with her.  Whenever we were in public he would stand in front of me and hide my growing belly from people he knew.  His own friends and family didn’t know about Sydney until 4 weeks before she was born.  I did the good mum thing and told Sydney that both her father and I love Sydney, we just don’t love each other anymore.  We remain friends so Sydney can see her father every fortnight and whenever he chooses to come over and see her.

I have been trying to keep Summer busy during the week with play groups and library visits.  Though I feel the more I do this the less I get to interact with her.  Even if she wasn’t sick we would have given play group a miss today.  I just wanted to play with her and teach her how to write.  Which is something she is really into at the moment.  Last night she wrote mum for the first time ever.  Proud mummy moment for me.

Until next time,

Kathy

 

What to buy for someone who doesn’t ask for anything

In a few short weeks it will be my birthday and I have had a few people ask me what I would like to as a gift.  For as long as I can remember I have always wanted people to remember my birthday without being told when it is.  I don’t actually tell people when my birthday is unless they are super keen to know.  Don’t get me wrong, I do like getting presents as much as the next person, but they really don’t mean much to me.  I much prefer to be around family and friends and spending quality uninterrupted time with my partner.

So what would you buy for someone who has no hobbies and shows little interest in modern technology?  For someone like myself, I tend to spend most of my time around my children, therefore I do not go out shopping just for the fun of it.  I only buy something when it is really needed.  But I look in my wardrobe each day and notice that the majority of my clothing are mum clothes that a person would generally wear around the house.  Most of my pajamas could be considered rags for the nearby future.

When it comes to clothing I’m not one for dark colours.  Bright and pastel colours are my friends.  I would love to wear more dresses, but i find it hard to find dresses that have adjustable straps.  I’m not the tallest person, nor do I have big boobs so to wear a dress that has adjustable straps wold feel much more comfier than that of a dress that is designed for a woman with an average C cup boob.

My other problem is my not so flat tummy.  When it comes to buying clothing I don’t like shirts or dresses that are too tight.  Call me modest if you like, but I personally don’t like the idea of showing of some belly flab.  But at the same time I do like to show of what little boob I have.  As I write this all I can think of is how picky I must come off as, haha.  Can you understand why I don’t ask for much?  It’s probably easier if I find clothing for myself.

I don’t call people very often, nor do I text.  I use facebook quite a bit and take photos of my girls while they play.  Though if I could do one thing with my phone it would be to play Pokemon Go with my kids, but I have a windows phone which is still good cos I can google shows for my kids while they get their hair cut.

I have a tattoo of my eldest daughters name on my left arm, but am yet to get one of my youngest daughter.  Tattoos can be rather expensive and to be honest I would much rather spend my money on clothing for my children than to put ink in my skin.  One day though, I will get that tattoo and my youngest can say proudly that mummy was able to put her name on my arm.

Recently I have been watching a show called Vikings on Netflix.  It has brought back so many memories of what I loved to read as a child.  Mythology and ancient history are 2 of my favourite topics and I would buy books on them when ever I could.  I had to stop when my responsibilities got in the way and I found myself wanting to save for family holidays and nice family outings.  I love reading about the events that took place over 1500 years ago and learn about how the people lived, what they wore, what they ate and the wars that took place.  The list is endless.

So to make this list easier to understand, the things you can buy for someone who doesn’t ask for anything are

  • New Pajamas
  • Books on their favourite topic
  • A tattoo of their choosing or a gift voucher of $100 (this can be something the family pool all their money into)
  • A gift voucher for a clothing store of $100 (once again the family can pool their money together so the person using the voucher has a bit to spend)
  • A new car
  • A new kitchen
  • A new bathroom
  • A rug for the lounge room floor
  • Pictures of their family to hang on the wall
  • Someone to rip out the old garden beds and to take away all the green waste
  • Someone to watch the kids while I go out to dinner with my man, with the possibility if a late night movie at a theatre

I’m not asking for much, lmao.

Until next time

Kathy

Random thoughts

Since becoming a stay at home mum all I have done is care for my family.  I find myself waking just after 6am each morning and preparing the girls for the day.  I find myself doing the same thing every day, which is fine, but after a while it does become rather tedious and all I can think about is sending everyone to bed, including my partner, and watching the TV.  At the moment the show I am favouring is Vikings on Netflix.  This is when I eat the secret stash of chocolate.

Tonight just after dinner while I was cleaning everything up, I became rather stressed.  I was cleaning up the rice which miss 3 had spilled everywhere  when I started to feel annoyed.  Rice goes everywhere and it can be one of the hardest things to clean up.  I go to the kitchen bench to tidy up when I find more rice.  Then I went to clean the fry pan.  Once again there was more rice.

I for some silly reason decided to growl at the pan with clenched fists like I was going to attack.  That’s when my partner said I should stop getting angry over the littlest thing and that I we should have a talk about what is bothering me.  At the beginning I was not so keen on the words he had to say and felt like ripping his head of with a bull dozer, but after 20 minutes everything was fine.

We both came to the conclusion that I need to get out more.  Since becoming a stay at home parent I have been less stressed and have been enjoying life more, but I don’t get out and do something that is just for me.  I don’t have many, if any, friends.  There are a lot of people I know but I have always been one to enjoy my own company.  So what can I do that is just for me outside of the home?

My only thought is that I could volunteer in the school canteen one day a week.  Miss 3 goes to her grandmothers one day a week so why not do something that my other child will enjoy.  But is there anything else I can do?  Anything I choose would have to be child friendly or during the night time after the children are in bed.  I don’t have many people I can call on to watch my children while I go out and while my partner is working.

Finding motivation is one of the hardest things for me to do.  When I am home alone and without children, I tend to either nap and clean or clean before I sit and watch TV.  I am sure there would be other people out there who are just like me, therefore I do not feel alone with these thoughts.

Can we blame the lack of motivation on the winter weather?  I remember reading somewhere that the cold weather can cause depression and lack of motivation in some people.  In the warmer weather I do feel the urge to do more because I don’t feel bogged down by all those winter clothes.

That’s all my tired mind can think of right now.

Until next time

Kathy

Running a red light

Yesterday I was driving to my mums place so I could help her out.  On my way I came across some red lights and stopped.  I must have been stopped for about 5 seconds or so at those red lights and in those 5 seconds I looked in the rear view mirror to see my 3 year old when I did the most embarrassing thing.  I started to drive.

I was in the process of looking forward when I noticed the lights were still red.  But here I am already half way through the lights.  I wasn’t in any rush, there was no need to be at my mums place so soon.  But on my way all I could think of was how dumb I must of looked and how lucky I was that it wasn’t that busy when I went through those lights.

Bad things come in three’s

They say bad things come in three’s.  But how can you truly know this unless you have 2 things break down on you in a short time frame?

Recently we were sent 4 letters in the mail, two for each car.  It is that time again when we must register our cars so that we can keep them on them road.  To us, this is a bad thing.  It can be rather costly to keep cars on the road.  You have to maintain them to ensure the car is as safe as possible on the road.

We now have 2 cars registered, but after we scrimped and saved as much as we could to pay for this, some things decided to go wrong for us.

The dryer no longer works.  Now normally I wouldn’t care about this but we have had some pretty cold weather lately.  The east cost lows that keep occurring have created rain, strong winds and very cold weather.  Thankfully I can place clothes on the clothes hoist in front of the heater but what am I going to do about bed sheets? I can place them outside, but there is no guarantee this would work.  So smelly sheets for us it is.

That same day the microwave shit itself.  Defrosting meats and foods should be interesting….we now need to plan a day in advance.  Making porridge for the girls will be difficult.  It’s now all stove top, non of this microwave stuff.

We are no 2 appliances down which is rather annoying, but we can pull through this.  People have lived without these things for years.  Just have to have better timing when it comes to washing bed sheets and defrosting our meat and left overs.

The third thing?  Well, we were watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones on a cold and very windy night.  Winds were reaching up to 90k’s an hour.  Windows were rattling and there were strange noises outside.  During the biggest scene of ‘battle of the bastards’ we hear a loud CLANK.  Thinking it was part of the show we ignore it and continue to watch.

After the show I decide to go to bed.  But for some reason I wanted to look outside and see the those tree’s going crazy with their winds.  Looking to the right what do you think I see?  The trampoline is now upside down, bent out of shape and literally meters away from the road.  Calling for my better half and his friend, what was left of the trampoline was dragged back to the back yard.

It is still rather windy outside, not so much as it was 2 nights ago when this happened.  The kids now get to practice jumping over the rope that is holding the trampoline down.

Can honestly say that the last 4 days have been interesting.  All I can see is dollar signs and my bank account says insufficient funds.

Until next time

Kathy

How i knew i was done with having more children

 

Every mother who has more than 1 child has most likely felt she enjoyed the whole pregnancy followed by the birth and the holding of her brand new baby.  Of course there are mothers out there who have suffered horrendous morning sickness followed by medical problems which makes them dread every pregnancy after the first.  But the end result and the beginning of the new life is exactly what she wanted to begin with.

I can personally say that I enjoyed  the whole pregnancy (even though I had a low lying placenta and was told it was best to have bubs in the hospital equipped to deal with medical issues relating to placenta previa) and the holding of the baby after all the exhausting work.

I can remember while having my last baby how exhausted I felt, my legs were shaking and I was vomiting because of the gas I tried.  I was sweating and in pain and told to put a towel in my mouth because I kept biting my partners hand.  I can even remember him falling asleep while I was kneeling there pushing out his daughter.  After she was born I can clearly remember saying I could really go for a ‘coke’ (as in the drink).  Was rather disappointed when he only offered me a glass of icy water.

With 2 children I will admit I sometimes feel the urge to have more, what’s one more…..right.  Then I remember all the sleepless nights and how angry I would become when I was denied the sleep-ins I so badly wanted.  I can remember holding my crying baby and thinking ‘what do you want from me?’

Or what about those night when they would wake up during the middle of the night and think it was time to play?  I would sit there in the dark falling asleep hoping they would go back to sleep.  I have no idea if what I did was right or not, but I would pull them out of their cot and hold them offer them some warm milk, cuddle them and feel them squirm until they were on the floor finally playing like that was their ultimate goal.

So here is how I know I am done with having more children

  1. Throughout the last 4 months of pregnancy it felt like someone was kicking me in the vagina. Walking was horrible, my lower back was always in pain and being in a job where I was to stand for the majority of my shift wasn’t helping.  Even though I am no longer working I do, however, have 2 children who like it when I walk everywhere and take them to the park.
  2. I am a person who enjoy drinking her energy drinks and found that giving them up at the beginning of pregnancy made the morning sickness worse. I do believe this could just be caffeine withdrawal. I also found it hard to cope after bubs was born because I had no idea how to stay awake after a dreadful night of sleep if I was to breastfeed and stay awake for the rest of the day so I could see to 2 children instead of 1.  When it was just one child, I was a single parent and scared.
  3. I suffered post natal depression. I couldn’t master how to breastfeed my children and found that I was a poor ‘cow’.  For the majority of the time I am a happy person, but it has taken me years to get to this point.  With an average dose of anti-depressant each day, an energy drink to start my day (it’s been coffee lately, something I really don’t like the taste of but deal with because of the caffeine) and some light reading each morning helps me start my day.  Without these things I can become rather grumpy and not a people person.  When I’m not a people person I tend to find myself arguing with my partner which in the end makes me feel like worse and unable to continue with my day.
  4. The 5am starts every day, made worse on cold wintery days when all I want to do is sleep. Oh how I miss sleep.
  5. I’m very much over waking 4 times in the night to see why the children are upset. There are nights when I am so exhausted that the sound of the cry makes me want to retreat further into my sheets.  Thankfully it’s only twice now and they still won’t settle unless I stay.  The last time I tried to let them go to sleep on their own in the middle of the night, I was greeted with a massive tantrum at 2am.  Woke everyone in the house up, and everyone was rather cranky.

Everyone is different though.  For me this is how I know I am finished with having more children.  Like many women, I will grieve because I am no longer pregnant or giving birth.  But this feeling only stays for a little while (I hope).

Until next time

Kathy

What I’ve discovered about being a parent and aunty

Over the years I have found myself reading numerous articles about being a parent and what each person has learnt in their time of raising their children.  For the majority of the articles I read I find myself nodding away in agreement with most of what I read.  So just for fun I thought I would give my thoughts on what I have discovered about raising my two children and being an aunty to my niece and nephews.

There will be no specific order in which this is written.

  1. There is no shame in using the television as a baby sitter while you gradually wake up with your coffee/energy drink and have your breakfast. You could completely bypass both these ideas if you believe you’re your child/ren will allow you to curl up on the lounge and go back to sleep.  Even that extra 30 minutes on the lounge semi awake could help you to wake up in a much happier environment.
  2. After many years of eagerly putting the kids to bed so I can watch my shows, then have them come out of their rooms and hassle me for a drink, the toilet, a change of clothes or to protest their lack of exhaustion, I decided it best just to sit with them just outside their bedroom and wait until they go to sleep. I can assure you I have read more articles than I could ever imagine and even completed my diploma in early childhood education just by sitting with them until they fall asleep.
  3. I have learnt to accept that my own television viewing is limited to only an hour and a half each day, if I’m lucky. I decided it was best just to give it up instead of fighting it.  Thanks to Netflix and recording of shows, I can still catch up on my shows.
  4. Children live for routine. Knowing what’s going to happen at certain times of the day, or what is to happen after do something offers the children some comfort.  It’s not like they can tell time by looking at a clock and know what’s going to happen, so why not work hard at giving them routine.  It’s not something that happens overnight though.  It’s taken me a super long time to have my children know what’s going to happen each morning and each afternoon after school.
  5. Learn to like mornings. I’m not saying love them, but give yourself something to look forward to each morning when you are forced to wake up at some insane hour or during the colder months when you so desperately want to roll over and go back to sleep in the soft sheets and warm blankets.  For me, making a coffee is a great idea than catching up on facebook while I drink it is my thing. Though sometimes I am guilty of turning the heater on and curl up on the lounge while little miss watches TV.  Only recently have I become lucky, I no longer get poked in the face telling me its morning time if I nod off on the lounge.  Yay me.
  6. Every child is learning to how to handle their emotions. They will get angry and react poorly which could lead them into trouble.  When miss 6 is angry I tell her to go to her room and calm down, I will go in and talk to her after 5 minutes.  When my children get angry I make it a goal to talk to the angry child and will sometimes repeat what they are saying to me.  Ask open ended questions and don’t offer reasons for why they are angry.  Let them figure this out on their own.
  7. I don’t get angry at my children for being angry, nor do I punish them for being angry. I will however discipline my children if their anger has caused some disruption in the house or with other people (I do this without yelling, I will raise my voice if I find they aren’t listening to me).
  8. Children learn how to cope with their emotions by observing how their parents/caregivers cope with their own emotions. Miss 6 is the worst offender as the poor thing had to watch mummy lose control of her emotions on more than 100 occasions in the first 2 years of life.  Miss 3 copes with her anger much better because mummy goes insane less now than what I did 5 years ago.
  9. When you ask you child a question, don’t expect a response straight away, count to 10 after you ask the question and if they haven’t responded try asking again. Don’t raise your voice to them because chances are they are thinking about their response and may find it hard to put their answer into words.  I like to think this goes for children up to the age of at least 8.
  10. There is no harm in allowing your children in seeing you cry. You’re not a robot, you are in fact a human being you is entitled to their emotions just as much as the next person. I’m not ashamed to admit that even I throw tantrums every now and again in front of my children.
  11. Playing with your children is never a waste of time. When you play with your children you are teaching them more then you realise. Throwing and catching a ball builds fine motor (their little muscles) skills such as hand eye coordination.  If you are playing outside with the ball and find there is running involved, you are helping the child strengthen their gross motor skills (their big muscles).
  12. Miss 3 annoying likes to play with her dolls all the time and has me take on one of the roles she has created. I originally thought this could most possibly be the most annoying game she has ever had me involved in. That was until I started taking notice on what scenarios had created.  At one point there was a teacher who had a baby in her tummy.  It wasn’t until I went to her daycare that I noticed one of her educators was pregnant.  Turns out miss 3 was trying to work out how the baby comes out and what it would be eating while it was in the tummy.  This is where I had to educate my child on this particular topic.  I still play these games with her, but we have pretty much run out of scenarios and tend to role play our morning and night time routines.
  13. I stopped hurrying my children along while we were out and about (unless we were in a real hurry). What was the point? They are exploring their environment and asking questions about what they see.  After I lost my job I started walking the children to and from the school.  I found it quite enjoyable (more exhausting when I had to walk up that damn hill each day) when my children were playing in the park.  The park is right next to the school and on our way home, so I saw no harm in letting them play before we walked home.  Realistically when you get home after picking the children up, you find yourself helping them with homework, cleaning up after the younger children, preparing and cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen, feeding the family, getting children ready for a bath then ready for bed.  Do you actually get to spend any real time just watching those precious children have fun?  What’s an extra 5 minutes at the park if you really don’t have to hurry home?
  14. Toilet training your child can be rather exhausting if the child shows no interest, both my children were fully toilet trained by 3 and a half. Miss 6 was still in night time nappies until she was 4 and miss 3 is yet to be night time trained. She will get there eventually, I just can’t be bothered forcing it when I may cause more trouble.
  15. Ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good the behaviour. When both my girls are throwing tantrums over something I ignore it. If they get to out of control I will say something, but ultimately I feel they are just trying to get their own way and I’m not caving.  Though if they clean up after themselves without a fuss I sure as hell will give them a reward of sorts (most of the time it’s a massive cuddle and lots of sloppy kisses, but sometimes I give them a chocolate treat).
  16. They only stay little for a while. Why waste their childhood with constant yelling and punishment when they are just being adventurous? My 8 year old nephew was diagnosed with ADHD before he went to school. There are people treating him like he is a special needs child.  I like to treat him like an 8 year old boy who likes to climb, ride his bike, play video games and spend time with his mum.  He’s more responsive to people you treat him like every other child and talk to him instead of yelling or punishing.  Children regardless of their status will respond if you stay calm and remain without stress during any confrontations.
  17. I attempt to limit how much time my girls watch TV. I would much rather them use their imagination and play outside then sit on a lounge complaining they are hungry when they ate less than 30 minutes ago. I now have one active child who enjoys reading and another who likes to play with her dolls.

I could sit here and right so much more on what I have discovered about being a parent and an aunty, but I fear I might be here a while.

Until next time

Kathy